There are plenty of quality books out there for soon-to-be parents and partners of pregnant women. The problem is that there is also plenty of brain-rotting trash getting in the way of the good stuff. A good rule of thumb is to avoid titles that include “Dude,” or anything with that “Bro” vibe. But once you rule those out, there isn’t much left for dad-specific content. Here are a couple tips for what to look for in a book that will actually teach you something. FYI, as an Amazon Associate, I earn on qualifying purchases.

Put Yourself in Your Partner’s Shoes

Read content that is intended for pregnant women. Reading what she’s reading will make it easier to empathize, and you’ll be able to carry a conversation with her about what she’s going through, which will help her feel less alone.

• What to Expect When Expecting by Heidi Murkhoff. This one covers just about every topic you can think of, and it’s been republished multiple times with new volumes to stay up-to-date.
• Cribsheet by Emily Oster. Emily Oster is a professor at Brown University, and she puts data into everything she does.

Read Books Directed Toward Doulas

The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin. By definition, a doula helps with pregnancy, labor, and birth. If you’re looking to assist your partner with pain management, hospital bag planning, or really anything leading up to the big day, then The Birth Partner should be your go-to. It’s used as learning material for a lot of doulas in training, so you know it’s credible. And mirroring the job a doula does will absolutely set you and mama up for a successful partnership through the challenging road ahead. This book was probably the single most helpful reading material I found. If another source has something useful, chances are you can find it in this book too, possibly with a better description and maybe even sketches for clarity. When approaching our due date, I marked this book up with a ton of sticky note bookmarks so I could find things I found most useful in a pinch, and that book definitely went in the hospital bag for L&D.

The Birth Guy’s Go-To Guide for New Dads by Brian W. Salmon and Kirsten Brunner was also helpful for me. This one has multiple authors, one being a dad, doula, and certified lactation consultant. It had a lot of the same content as The Birth Partner with more of a storytelling flow rather than a reference book. It’s one of the only sources I found that’s directed at dads and doesn’t imply that we’re all hopeless cavemen. His doula experience is very helpful, but the lactation consultant tips resonated the most with me. As a naïve first time father, I wasn’t prepared for just how challenging breastfeeding could be. Going into breastfeeding with the assumption that it’s simple or easy will set you and your partner up for failure, so if nursing is in your baby’s future, make sure to learn up on this topic.

I’ll continue adding new recommendations to this page as they come up. Thanks for reading!